"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
