Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
