She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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