Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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