It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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