Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
