Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
