I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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