What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
