awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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