Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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