I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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