i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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