I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
