dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
