We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
