where am i from again
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
