I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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