CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
