More tranny stories later!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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