When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
