Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
