Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish you could order shots online.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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