awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
