Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
