I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
