If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
