I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
