If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
