Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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