Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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