So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
