it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
