Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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