we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
