you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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