We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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