This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
