I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
