im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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