I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
