Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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