He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
