This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
