dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can you bring me the toilet please
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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