I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
