but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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