you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
