We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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