it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
