Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
